Monday, June 05, 2006

Calling David Lynch

Hard to manage the fact that ex-shrink emailed me, among other "colleagues and friends" to encourage me to spend even more money at his office, but now on "body work." I love it when men write me about body work. I am not a goddamn car. It makes me feel like I'm getting an ivy-league, or new-age catcall. Body work! Holy shit. I'd like to give him some body work, and at women's college we referred to that as "castration with a dull spoon." I'd definitely hire out for that job.

I might be more charitable had it been an error. But no. When I wrote to say, er, doctor, take me off your list, and by the way, you arse, I am not your friend, Dr. Creepo's response was similarly icky. No apology. No pretense that he spammed in error.

Shrinks do not contact ex-patients for business. Yikes. Yuck. Shrinks do not contact ex-patients. Shrinks do not contact patients unless they need to change an appointment or there is a crisis, and they are checking in. Call me old-fashioned, but for crissake, Dr. Fuckup, don't call me.

After taking in the implications of my stern, formerly traditional headshrinker becoming a dirty old man, I contacted our on-again, off-again marriage counselor, who is absolutely brilliant, and who I do trust. Nary a boundary crossed, ever; not a defensive statement ever made. Let's call him Dude. This guy could mediate between two rabid dogs, or even Ball & Chain & me. He completely confirmed that Creepo had been Creepy. I was wondering about my ethical obligations, and we discussed that as well.

I am getting that dread feeling in my gut so this may just be part one. I never liked that David Lynch guy who did Twin Peaks, and I don't like world-famous doctors who violate ethical standards and show me their whole goddamn email list in the process.

Oy vesmir, oy gevalt.

3 comments:

  1. He is gross and disturbing. You should report him to the state medical board. Not that anything will happen to him. Doctors can basically do a number of wretched things before the AMA gets off their ass and actually does something. Evil profession. I volunteer for the castrating with dull spoon job.

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  2. Hi there - I just discovered your blog and am hooked! Would you mind if I add a link to yours from mine?

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  3. Had a creepy shrink that I tossed this past winter... Was also old and wonder why, being that I am so passionate...that I had never had an affair? wink.. How freaking irresponcible is that? How many more problems would that create? And like I would have one with a pudgy little old man like him? Yes, I am agreeing evil profession all the way around. To easy to mess people up without getting caught.

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