Friday, March 30, 2007

The Crappy Truth

In the interest of honesty, which is part of the moronic theme of my blog - what was I thinking - I gotta say that I know where my anger is from, and its not related to work. I thought it was, but in a deflating moment, I realized that my huffery is a cover, a distraction, an obsession that helps me to cope with the real shit.

Someone murdered my brother. That someone is, unfortunately, still alive, and I have seen It. It is unfathomable to me. When I have seen Its face, imagining that this is the anti-person who killed my brother is not possible. Beyond the realm of possibility. Yet many people saw it happen, and there is no question, no doubt. Only a ridiculous legal procedure during which strangers and pay-for-pseudo-psychiatrists will decide if It was insane.

That's all, nothing more. Except the hurt in my belly and an inability to think hard about this.