Oy vesmir to be a progressive Jewish girl these days. Oy gevalt I cannot watch the news I cannot talk about it. When my goyishe husband criticizes Israel I get nervous. I am sure a uniformed officer will come for me, noting my unruly hair and Jewishy face. When I hear politicians support Israel, I feel oppressed. I keep myself at a news-exposure minimum, because after reading and listening about the war the cease fire the families the terrorists I am overwhelmed. And I'm just a Jewish gal in North America, living my little life with nothing more than a few pauses here and there.
Sometimes, I am reduced to thinking about Hebrew school: the way we were taught that we should never forget The Holocaust (so true), the oft-repeated words - "the chosen people" - that I always knew were wrong, and the unflinching support of Israel, along with the notion that all Jews, some day, would go to Jerusalem. We were our own proud little band of soldiers, with Hebrew workbooks, and Hebrew names.
I read about a local Jewish family moving to Israel, and I thought what about the children? Those people could die from a bomb. People believe so fiercely in Israel and somehow that intense devotion missed me. It feels sacrilegious even writing that. Other Jews assume that I accept Israel's actions unconditionally. But I don't accept anything unconditionally! When a country's weapons kill innocent civilians, I won't be an apologist for it. Israel has the right to exist, but I wish all the neighbors there could exist without killing each other.
I am already on some organization's "self-hating Jew" list, whatever that means. Please forgive my feelings of humanity for Lebanese people! I don't understand, for example, why the progressive temple we attend raised money for Jewish children in Israel last year. What about all Israeli children in need? I simply do not value Jews more than I value Arabs. I was told as a child that Arabs are evil. It didn't sound right then, and it is not right now.
So don't hak me a chinek (give me grief) with the Israel talk, and don't tell me who did what to whom. I tell my students, and my own children, that I'm not interested in who started it, I wanna know who's going to finish it? Not finish it with bombs. Talk about some real peace. It would be a grand trip if we could ever afford to travel to Israel. Will we ever feel safe enough that we would even consider it? Ach, what kind of a Jew am I?
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Fun dein moil tzu Gots oyerin (from your mouth to God's ears)! I am so with you. I believe Israel has the right to exist, but they still have some super shitty policies that I hate, both toward their neighbors and their own citizens. I never had any interest in going to Israel and "getting blown up on a tour bus," as my Yiddische Mama so elegantly put it, but when I found some semi-relatives that survived the Holocaust who no one knew were there, I felt compelled to go and meet them. And I fell in love with Israel, the land. My friend in Israel (from my home town; she moved there in 1998) then got hitched, so I went back to Israel again last August (holy FUCK it is hot there in Aug.) and took the family with me that time.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find about Israel is that most Israelis do not believe in what the government is doing, but also are very unsure of what else to do. They really believe that everyone deserves a home and space for it, but their neighbors do not share that view, and how do you try and live harmoniously with people who hate you? (Not everyone, mind you, as there are some Jewish settlers who are more loathesome than Arabs.)
And the right-wing evil Jews have a lockhold over the government, which is sad. To get married in Israel, one must submit to an Orthodox marriage. That is the only choice within Israel if you are Jewish. If you do not want an Orthodox wedding, you can have a civil service one in Cypress. Very facocked, in my view, to drive Jews to another land to freaking get married.
Further, no site incurs my wrath like the Western Wall, the holiest and most sexist of sites in Judaism. That there is a separation of the sexes to begin with makes me seethe, but it is only compounded by the fact that the men have a HUGE section with nice prayer books and lecterns and the woman must jam into a tiny section with whatever is not good enough for the men. I want to run over the men's side and spit on them. (I once also wrote that hurling a used tampon over the divider would bring me immense satisfaction.) To these Jews, I say, zolst es shtupin in tukhes arayn (shove it up your ass).
OK, so this is a lot to write on someone else's blog, and genug ist genug (enough is enough)!
Suzanne your yiddish is si impressive - the spelling even! Only my father, out of the whole meshpocheh, or maybe one of my uncles, would remember all of that.
ReplyDeleteMy dear cousin Tootsie said the same very thing about Israel. Hmmm.
I admit I had some help from my handy Yiddish phrase book. It is not often that I get to use it, which is a schande!
ReplyDeleteThat article about the family moving to Israel gave me the creeps, especially since they appeared to have no plan to work, but were just going to pay a kibbutz to live there, so maybe it was their wealth that gave me the creeps too...
ReplyDeleteExcellent post! I feel very conflicted about Israel. On the one hand, as a lover of all things Jewish, I have this knee jerk affection for Israel and a strong hope for its continued and peaceful existence. On the other hand, Israel can be awfully hard to love at times and, like you, I hate any suggestion of elevating one group of people at the expense of another.
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